Mon 4 Jan 2010

Venting…

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Musings
[2] Comments

Ok, so last year I started graduate school at a Texas University who shall remain nameless. Everything went well and I enjoyed my first semester of “grownup college”. I communicated with my advisor several different times about the fact that I was uncertain as to whether I’d be able to take classes in the Spring of 2009 due to the fact that I was deploying to Iraq and didn’t know what kind of internet access I would have. I did this also to ensure that I would not be dropped from their enrollment system and have to reapply to the university all over again when I did decide it was safe to take classes.

While I was in Iraq I had no opportunity to take classes, to my utter despair, and so skipped both the spring and fall semesters of 2009. Bummer. I returned in October, and subsequently got busy getting back into school for the Spring of 2010.

And then things got stupid.

Not only did I discover that I was dropped completely from their system, but that I would have to reapply to both the graduate school and the specific department to be able to take classes this Spring. (oh, and that means application fees, transcripts, letters of recommendation… yeah, the whole nine yards) They even tried to make me retake the GRE, since it has been more than 2 years since I last took it!

Now, I know that I have said in the past that working with and around Marines must have a degrading effect on my mental capacity… but come on! Do they honestly think that I might have gotten stupider by simply taking off two semesters of school? Am I to understand that this school intends to reconsider their original decision to admit me? Where’s the logic in that? “Oops, we made a mistake last time. Sorry, you’re not admitted this time.” (oh, and in case you are wondering, I took two classes and got A’s in both of them)

I envision this board of crusty old men sitting around a long boardroom table looking at my file.

“This kid went to Iraq? We’d better double check that he’s still mentally capable of going to school. Make him reapply.”

The sad fact is that there are no crusty old men sitting around. It is much worse. My new enemies are the three crabby middle-aged women in the admissions department who love to say things like, “That’s all well and good, sir, but you have to follow the rules,” and “This is pretty common knowledge, sir,” and my personal favorite, “Maybe next time you go away you should…”

I stop right there because at that point I’m usually mock throwing my phone across the room…

So now I am waiting for the final approval to resume my education and get on with things. I had no say in whether or not I was sent to Iraq, and I had no say in whether or not I could take classes last year. So I am feeling rather anxious to hurry up and get back on track. The funny thing is, classes start in two weeks, and registration starts in just a few days. I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not going to hear back from these crabby old women until after the regular registration period, and so help me God, if I have to pay a late registration fee… well, let’s just say that if you have a hard time reaching me by phone in the coming weeks, it is because it will likely be lodged in the wall.

Ego Offensus Fossor

(I hate idiots)

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Sun 3 Jan 2010

Can owning a Mac make you a genius?

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Musings
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I don’t know if you have ever had the experience of being approached by a stranger in a store that thought you were an employee, but it is a very unique one indeed. I recently experienced this while doing some post-Christmas shopping the other night.

The scene was set: I, wearing a baseball cap, jacket zipped up, and Jeans, strolled through the moderately chaotic electronics superstore hoping to find something for under $35 plus tax to use my recently acquired gift card on. I had no clue what I wanted to buy, but was hoping to find an aisle full of useful goodies that I could pick up for deep post-holiday discounts.

I found myself wandering up and down the aisles, however, growing ever impatient with my search as all I wanted to do was find the Mac aisle and see what kind of stainless steel wireless wonder I could pick up to add to my collection. The only the problem was, there was nothing to be found. I finally put my macho maleness aside and decided to (gasp!) ask for directions.

“Excuse me,” I asked the high-school aged employee towering nine feet above me . “Where do you keep your Mac stuff?”

“Mac?” He asked with a confused expression so sincere as if to suggest I was speaking a foreign language. “We don’t carry any Mac stuff here.”

I shrugged my shoulders and thanked the kid, and continued my search, now hoping to find something else. I knelt at the external hard drives to look them over when an older woman approached me, dressed all in a purple sweatsuit, hair pulled back like she had just gotten out of the shower.

“Excuse me, sir,” she asked. “Could you help me?”

I looked in the other direction, expecting to see an employee. No such luck. As I slowly turned my head to look back at the woman, she was already continuing.

“I’ve got this laptop that is real old and doesn’t play DVD’s or…”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “but I don’t work here.” I said, interrupting slightly.

“Oh, I know,” she responded, and then immediately launched back into her story about something to do with her desire to see the latest episodes of Antiques Roadshow on her antiquated laptop.

I listened patiently, feeling somewhat awkward and wondering I could sneak away before she noticed. She must have noticed my perplexed look because she stopped mid-sentence to say this:

“Well, I heard you talking about Macs back there.”

I stood there, expressionless, more confused than ever.

“…So, you’re a genius, right?” she said as genuinely as could be.

I could not believe that she was serious. Apparently the act of simply owning a mac is enough to elicit the reputation of genius… at least for ladies dressed in purple sweatsuits that like to watch Antiques Road Show… ~

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Fri 1 Jan 2010

2009- A recap of goals

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Musings
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Looking over my list of goals for 2009 was an interesting exercise last night. I wrote them on the eve of my departure from America to Iraq for what was supposed to be 13 months. I was pretty ambitious with my list, but overall I think it was a pretty realistic. There were unfortunate circumstances that came up which prevented me from achieving some of my goals. For instance, our team came back four months early, before the Marine Corps Marathon was run, so I didn’t have an opportunity to complete the marathon that I had been training for all along. Nevertheless, I tabulated all of my goals from 2009, and here is what I got:

ESV’s goals for 2009

Running
- Run a 10 mile 7:30 split by May- NO
- Run a half marathon in 94 minutes by August- NO
- Run a marathon in 3:30 while in Iraq- NO
- Average at least 48 miles a week throughout the deployment- MOST OF THE TIME

Health
- Complete 20 pull-ups in one set by January 2010- NO
- Improve my crunches to 110 in 2 minutes by September- NO
- Continue calorie intake goals from 2008- YES
- Lower body fat percentage by 2% by January 2010- YES
- Complete one full cycle of P90X while in Iraq- NO
- Continue hydration goals from 2008- YES

Recreation
- Write in blog at minimum of once a month- YES, EXCEPT COMING HOME FROM IRAQ
- Publish at least one podcast episode a month- NO
- Journal at least once a week- NO
- Write in Joshua’s journal at least once a month- NO
- Have at least 20 digital scrapbook pages by January, 2010 (print when I return)- NO, BUT I MADE A BOOK INSTEAD
- Send home at least 5 souvenirs by May- YES
- Complete at least one geo-model for Google Earth- YES
- Increase readership of blog by 15% by January 2010- YES
- Average 80 downloads of podcast by January 2010- DON’T KNOW
- Respond to every email and comment within a month (I can’t guarantee I’ll have access to the internet at any given point)- YES
- Write at least one poem by June- YES

Creative writing- book
- Develop working title, main characters, and main plot by February- YES
- Write working summary by March- YES
- Write at least one chapter by May- YES

Creative writing- editorial
- Write at least one editorial by August- YES
- Submit at least one editorial by September- YES

Financial
- Pay off Jen’s student loans by return date- NO
- Continue Tithe and offering goals from 2008- YES
- Continue child sponsor goals from 2008- YES

School
- Maintain my current GPA through the next year- DIDN’T TAKE CLASSES
- Find at least three potential schools that are receptive to my interests for doctoral studies- YES AND NO
- Improve my math GRE score by at least 50 points by January 2010- DON’T KNOW
- Obtain one letter of recommendation from O-4 or above by January 2010- NO

Work
- Finish FMF requirements by April- YES
- Make next pay grade by December- YES
- Learn at least 15 Arabic phrases by February- YES
- Know how to count to 20 in Arabic by February- NO
- Be able to recognize all Arabic characters by May- NO
- Help at least one person learn to count to 20 in Arabic by January 2010- NO
- Secure counseling assignment with Div Psych by August- NO, BUT PLANS CHANGED

Overall score: Roughly 60% completion.

Not bad, overall. I would have liked to take classes and finish the marathon, among other things while I was in Iraq, but things change and you have to roll with it. No big deal. I did get in pretty decent shape while I was there. I lost about seven pounds, and gained a few more pullups, situps and pushups through the whole ordeal.

Digging holes in the desert

This coming year is going to have different challenges for me. I’m going to be moving my family back east and starting a new job. Life will be very different where I am going, which makes goal setting a bit more difficult. As such I decided to keep my goals for 2010 a little simpler and less dramatic than last year’s. Fairly ambitious, yes, but hopefully flexible and realistic enough that I can beat last year’s score.

Here’s hoping! ~

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Sun 27 Dec 2009

To blog, or not to blog

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Musings, Writing
[4] Comments

While I can’t ignore the fact that I haven’t exactly received any hate mail or strong messages of disapproval for my months-long lapse in posting, I still feel somewhat guilty when I let things go like this. It’s a strange emotion, really. I mean, why should I care if I’m not blogging? It’s not like others are counting on me for a daily does of self-righteous sanctity, or oververbosity (is that a word?). My blog doesn’t really serve a clear purpose, other than as another avenue through which I hope to meet and connect with the world around me… which is, I suppose, the primary reason for wanting to continue with it.

It is amazing, I think, what technology has done to bring us closer together. Others still marvel when I tell them that for 10 months in Iraq I was able to see my son an average of once a week online. I read to him and sang songs with him, all from thousands of miles away. In the months immediately following my arrival home, however, I basically shut down my various social networks, (which are essentially my only windows to the outside world these days as I live in the middle of nowhere) and focussed on reconnecting with my family.

But I can only be a social shut-in for so long…

Getting back into the swing of things with blogging and podcasting, however, isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. There’s nothing like a few months of not blogging to show you just how self-absorbed and utterly pointless having a blog can be- at least for me. That sort of kills the desire and interest right there. Yet I still can’t fight this urge to get back into it, to start writing about random things and hoping in some pathetic and needy way that someone will want to read what I wrote and, (gasp) maybe even leave a comment.

I guess it all boils down to motivation. I don’t mean the will and discipline needed to actually sit down and write; I mean the underlying purpose for which anyone engages in any creative act. Do artists paint to be famous, or rich? Are they trying to give visual images to the emotions they feel, or perhaps provide a graphic editorial on society as they see it? Or is there a more basic reason, one purely selfless and without external reward?

Personally, I have found that I create for no other reason than because I must. I simply cannot go for very long without putting my hands or mind to something and bringing something new into existence. And I suppose this blog is a sort of a canvas for me that I can continue to shape and mold and play around with- and of course babble about things like how great natural peanut butter is, etc.

So, here I am again, writing for the sake of writing, with no particular purpose or agenda. If you happened to stop by, please feel free to let me know how awkward you felt reading it all.

~ESV

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Sat 3 Oct 2009

The long road home from Iraq

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Iraq, Military, Musings
1 Comment

It was almost exactly a month of waiting that my team and I had to endure before we were able to find a flight home. During this time, little by little, we lost more and more of our freedom and ability to communicate. The first to go was the internet, then our phones, and then we signed customs forms that would redirect any mail back to the US. For a good couple of weeks we were completely incommunicado.

The trip itself was not unlike a typical overseas flight. By that, of course I mean it was looooooooong. Almost 24 hours in all. We arrived in North Carolina close to midnight. The weather felt heavenly as we disembarked onto the tarmac and began to sort through the 800+ duffle bags and foot lockers of gear. The dust and dirt that covered them that seemed so commonplace only 24 hours earlier now appeared dingy and out of place with the clean surroundings. The first thing all of us commented on was the wonderful feeling of humidity on our skin. I never imagined I would appreciate such a nuisance of living on the coast, but after a year in the desert, moisture was a godsend. The pine trees and grass smelled wonderful, and we couldn’t stop staring at all the buildings and lights. It was a wonderful experience for our dulled senses.

The past week and a half has been a blur of paperwork and meetings; power point presentations and counseling sessions that all fall under the system the Marine Corps calls “warrior transition.” This is all in response to the Vietnam Era deployments where you could literally be in a firefight one minute and be home less than 24 hours later, cut loose to handle the very complicated emotional and spiritual aftermath of that very unique stressor few people have experienced called ‘combat.’ Today we take our time before returning to the regular daily schedules and requirements of life in garrison. I have actually been quite impressed with how the Marine Corps has handled everything, and I have felt very well taken care of. It has been a very pleasant surprise.

My family and I are slowly learning how to live as one unit under the same roof again. My son has had no trouble readjusting to me. I cannot be in the same room with him without a request to pick him up or let him sit on my lap. My wife complains about the size of the bed suddenly cut in half by my presence. I have nothing to complain about, of course. My living arrangements have improved dramatically!

Other than those minor adjustments, returning home has been a seamless and enjoyable experience. I am blessed to be free of the complicated emotional baggage that some of my co-workers have returned with, and I am thankful for my physical health, as well as emotional.

What I learned during the nine months I lived and worked in Iraq will stay with me always. Now I look to the next chapter of my life and beyond. From where I stand I have just received the equivalent of a rich inheritance. I came from living as a nomad in a tent in the middle of a desert to suddenly having a beautiful house, two cars, a beautiful wife, adorable and healthy son, and all the fresh fruits and vegetables I can eat! I could not be more happy. ~

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Sun 2 Aug 2009

Transitions in Iraq

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Current events, Current issues, Iraq, Military
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Well, I have made the transition back to civilization fairly well. I said goodbye to my home in the desert and drove off into the sunset. Well, to be accurate, I drove east, so I guess I was driving away from the sunset.

Another day, another sand storm

I didn’t know what to expect when I arrived at Al Asad. I figured I’d have some time to myself to put my stuff away, maybe grab a shower, maybe get a hot meal. None of this was to happen because my old friend, the Sand Storm, decided to follow me from the desert and park itself right over the air base for THREE WHOLE DAYS!

What you see with your naked eye

My hopes of looking around the base were pretty much destroyed because this sand storm was a real stinker and made visibility limited to only a few feet at times. The only consolation I found in the irony that I had returned to a land of paved roads and buildings only to be greeted by a sand storm was the fact that I could go inside and the sand couldn’t follow me! Living in a tent for seven months really makes you appreciate doors and windows and walls and ceilings so much more.

What is actually going on in the air

In the desert, all you can do in a sand storm is batten down the hatches as much as possible to keep the gross amount of sand from invading your tent. The air is still filled with a fine mist of dust, however, and small piles appear as if from no where through every crack and crevice that exists in the flimsy tent walls. Here, I merely had to walk indoors and I was oblivious to the weather outside. Such a small luxury to some, but one that I will never take for granted again.
In the week that I have been back here I have enjoyed the variety of foods there is to eat, and have even done a little shopping at the Iraqi shops here in town. The sheer amount of imported junk that they sell to military members here is astounding.

I’m looking forward to training on solid, level ground again. I’ve already done a few 10+ days since I’ve been here, and it feels amazing. My times have been more than a minute faster, for obvious reasons. I’m not sure when I’m leaving here and flying home, but I think I am going to enjoy my stay here considering its vast improvement to the previous seven months’ living conditions. And so begins a new chapter of my life in Iraq. This one hopefully involves a lot less sand in the hair and eating food designed for nuclear fallout scenarios. ~

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Tue 21 Jul 2009

Spotlight on the Syrian Desert

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Iraq, Military, Nature
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All right, well, my time here in Iraq, at least way out here in the desolate desert of despair (nice, huh?) is coming to an end. The trucks are here, things are being moved, tents are being broken down, plans are being made, etc. The writing is more or less on the wall. So, in remembrance, I thought I’d share a few pictures of the crazy, but sometimes beautiful, desert that I have been living in over these last eight months. Enjoy!

Blog

Nothing as far as the eye can see in all directions (and yes, that is the ground that I run on every day). For the most part there are no changes in topography out here, with one exception.

Plateaus

These plateaus are the only thing that breaks up the monotony of the desert. They are scattered here and there across the landscape, and provide interesting views when you climb up them. We made this one into a bunker complex for training.

Blue skies

When we first arrived out here, it was the middle of winter. The weather was very nice back then. There are almost never any clouds in the sky out here anymore, but in the winter there were plenty, like the below sunset I took in February:

The monolith

This is actually my favorite spot on the camp. It is nothing more than a pile of rocks that we built on the North edge of the camp, but there is something about the solitude it offers that I find myself frequently hanging out there in the early morning and late evening. The Bedouin tribes out here use these piles of stones as navigational aids. We just built one cause we were bored and I thought it would look cool up on the hill.

Desert flower

The desert isn’t completely void of life. Surprisingly enough, one day in early spring I actually happened across this little flower. I was so surprised I could hardly believe my eyes. It was so colorful and stood in such stark contrast with the rest of its surroundings. It only lasted three days, and I haven’t seen one since,  but it was pretty while it lasted.

Dusk

My favorite time of day by far is dusk. I don’t know what it is about the end of the day, but I just love the calm as the sun just hides itself below the horizon when there’s still enough light to see everything. This is the time I like to mosey on over to the lawn chairs and have a nice cigar with the guys.

Chillin

Of course, we’re not all into cigars. Scott here likes chewing tobacco. Hey, after a long day of moving around in 60 pounds of gear in 110 degree heat, I think you’ve earned the right to chew on whatever you darn well please.

Full moon

When the sun goes down for good, depending on the phase of the moon, we can often continue to see just as well all night long. The starlight and moonlight out here is incredible. The above picture was actually taken at 2:30 am! That’s a full moon, not the sun!

Goooooood morning!

But where one day must end, another begins… and so goes a day of life in the middle of the Syrian Desert. ~ESV

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Wed 15 Jul 2009

Another milestone

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Military
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I dropped my 30th flight of helos in a combat zone today! What do I win?

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Tue 14 Jul 2009

The end of the Iraq War- the great unknown.

Posted by ericstephenvorm under Military
1 Comment

Do you remember how difficult it used to be to go to bed on Christmas Eve; that anticipation, the excitement of dreaming about what magical gifts were underneath all the wrappings and bows in the next room over? Time always seemed to slow to a crawl and all thoughts were centered on one single thing: opening gifts.

Well, if you could imagine that same setting of anticipation and excitement, but throw in 110 degree heat, back-breaking work, and complete isolation from the civilized world, that would about sum up how we’ve felt out here. Oh, no, wait. Pretend also that Christmas was an undisclosed date. You didn’t know when exactly it was coming, but you could see the signs everywhere: your parents putting up a tree, arranging presents, throwing back some vintage egg nog. Now, that starts to paint the picture of what it’s like to be stranded in the middle of the desert in a foreign country and watch news articles scroll by on CNN that say thousands of troops are leaving Iraq. We hear nothing from our official channels. Everyone is mute. But we see the signs.

First they took the extra supplies of HESCO barriers away, then the wood, then the tools we usually need for building more targets and bunkers for training. All of it retrograded away from here. Then I receive word that such and such unit cancelled training because they are going home early. Another message comes to me that says so and so is no longer available for helicopter runs because their unit is also leaving early… yet, the few of us that live out here, isolated from everything, hear nothing.

Despite the lack of information, a little eavesdropping in the phone center (a tent with three phones side by side) tells me I’m not the only one thinking that we’re going home sometime soon. Just the other night I heard the ecstatic voice of a young man talking to his girlfriend.

“Yeah, baby. I’ll probably be home for your birthday! Or at least Thanksgiving. Maybe Christmas? New Year’s maybe? I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure I’m coming home early!”

Do you know what that kind of uncertainty and vagueness can do to a Marine? Horrible things, friends. Trust me. It’s not so bad for the single guys. Parents are eager to see them the same as everyone else, but they don’t have much to worry about logistically when it comes to going home. After all, a barracks room on base is not much different than a barracks room in Iraq. But those of us that are married and have children, and a house, and plans for the future… wow. That is the worst kind of half-news you can receive. I hesitate to even share that kind of news with my wife because I know that it’s going to create that strange uneasiness that it did with me. You want to get excited, but then you hold off because you don’t want to be let down too hard. You want to start making plans, but then you realize just how large a step it is to move such a huge amount of people from one country to another, and just how remote the possibility is that things will actually happen the way you have been told. You want to call all your friends and family and excite them with your news that you’ll be returning home sooner than expected, but then you don’t want to let them all down when plans change; and when it comes to the military, plans always change.

Still, I can’t help but listen to conversations here and there and watch people’s decisions with a keen eye. Earlier today I mentioned that we needed to repair the drainage area for one of our water bulls because it had recently become a gigantic mud puddle instead of the soakage pit it was designed to be. The commander merely shrugged his shoulders and said nonchalantly, “Don’t bother. We can manage.”

Yet nothing official is said. I can’t help but wonder why. I think the policy of keeping secrets for fear of laziness is the stupidest thing I’ve ever encountered in the Marine Corps. Do they honestly believe that if PFC Jones knew he was going home in 30 days he would just refuse to work for the next 29? Where’s the logic in that, especially considering that even the most non-observent people can obviously see that this war is over and we are about as useful as a cow in India right now. Still, they keep their secrets…

Perhaps the most significant impact this is having on me is the challenge it creates in planning for my future- particularly the goals I have been working toward for so long. I am scheduled to run a half-marathon on August 15th, and the Marine Corps Marathon (FWD) on October 25th. I’m very confident I’ll be here for August 15th, but October 25th? Dare I allow myself to hope?

I have found my various other goals interrupted by this mysterious change in plans also. I haven’t been able to write a word toward my novel in over a week. I haven’t been able to brainstorm or jot down any ideas for my podcast either. I just feel like I’m waiting for something to happen, and once it does I’ll be able to get back down to business. It is a terribly frustrating feeling because I know in my mind that I should be focussed on work as usual and let things happen as they will. I will drive myself bonkers if I allow myself to get caught up in the “when am I going home” hype. Like I said before, I’ll get home when I get home.

Still, events and plans keep changing before my very eyes. It’s as if everyone knows that we are not long for this place, but no one is willing to say when we’re leaving. It’s really ironic too that number two of the “11 principals of leadership” for the Marine Corps is “keep your Marines informed.” I guess maybe they forgot that one? ~ESV

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Mon 13 Jul 2009

P90X Round Two- Day 43

Posted by ericstephenvorm under P90X, Workouts
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What a day. I got up at 4:00 am this morning in order to walk out to a range and beat the heat. However, when we awoke we found the sky completely filled with sand. Range was cancelled. I went ahead and taught my portion of the course this morning, which took most of the morning. When I was finished my body desperately wanted a nap, but I really wanted to do my workout earlier rather than later. I really dislike working out in the evenings. My desire for sleep took over, however, and I napped for about an hour while the students took their tests.

I woke to the head instructor informing me that the weather had cleared and we were moving out to the range within the half hour. Great. Now we’re going to be walking out three miles in the hottest part of the day, and the forecast said 110 again today. I grabbed my gear and reluctantly headed out, still craving sleep. Eight hours in the sun later and I found myself zoning out as we walked back, the sun now setting behind us. I could help but argue with myself just a little bit about working out when I got back. I mean, can’t I just call walking six miles with 60 pounds of gear on my back a workout and call it a day?

I decided to compromise and do Ab Ripper X but skimp on the Shoulders, Chest & Triceps workout. This is partially because I was tired and didn’t want to compete for weights in our tiny gym (since everyone else seems to love to work out at this time of the day), and partially because my hands have been torn up from the dryness and lifting weights.

Ouch!

Ouch!

Ab Ripper X moves pretty quickly, and always leaves me feeling a small sense of accomplishment. Since it was almost 8:00 pm at that point, I figured it would be enough to push me over the edge of exhaustion and send me to bed.

I surprised myself, however. First I did the workout without sneakers on, which the last time I did this I couldn’t finish half the exercises because I relied on having that little extra counter balance. This time I didn’t have any problems at all, and in fact, I actually managed to attain my goal of doing all 50 Mason Twists! Yippee!

So, this long, drawn out day is over, and I can go to bed with the knowledge that I pushed myself and achieved yet another goal. It’s a nice feeling. ~ESV

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